Annesophia Richards
Gifts
One of the most stressful parts of the holidays for parents with young children is oftentimes how to handle when a child receives a disappointing gift. We all know that moment of dread when our child opens a gift and then tosses it aside in displeasure with no signs of gratefulness. We understand that their responses are honest, and that they are not intentionally being mean or unappreciative, but it does not lessen the awkwardness of the situation. Children are never too young to learn how to handle disappointment and display gratitude and thankfulness when they receive a gift from a loved one. It is an important social skill that can be tough to master. Here are a few tips to help teach your children how to become more gracious, empathetic gift recipients.
Examine their expectations - Kids need to understand that they are privileged to receive gifts for any occasion, whether it is a holiday or not. Children who think that they are entitled to presents in any circumstance will inevitably be setting themselves up for disappointment when their standards aren’t met. Encourage your child to consider each gift they receive as a bonus and not a given, and they will be much less likely to be ungrateful when a gift does not meet their expectations.
Talk to your child about the reason behind the gifts - When your little one receives a gift, explain the giver’s thoughtful act of love and caring. Discuss why the person picked out that present for your child instead of focusing on gift itself. Talk to them about the message the gift conveys - that they are special to the giver and that the giver wants to make them happy. This will help to show them that even when a gift is disappointing, it truly was the thought that counts because the intention of the giver was to please.
Help them become the givers - All kids know the excitement of receiving gifts, but not every kids knows how much fun giving presents can also be. Involve your child in the gift giving process to show them how it feels to select a special present that they think a loved one will enjoy. By becoming the gift giver, it allows a child to better understand how a person might feel when the gift recipient doesn't express gratitude for a present.
Model the gratitude you want to see - Children learn behavior from their parents more than from anyone else, so try to always demonstrate the excitement, appreciation, and politeness that we expect from them. When your child gives you a gift, whether it be a drawing, a craft, or something they purchased, show them how good it feels to be appreciated by thanking them with enthusiasm.
Concentrate on the feelings and not on the lying - Kids will inevitably ask you why it's okay to "lie" if they don't like a present. Turn that conversation around to focus on the meaning of empathy and being sensitive to someone's feelings. Discuss how the words that they use and the reactions that they have towards a gift have the power to hurt the person who just did something so nice and loving for them.
Start teaching appreciation early - Even the youngest of toddlers can learn to say please, thank you, and to show thankfulness for gifts. Preschoolers can learn how to find something positive to say about a disappointing present, and they can practice this with you at home. Come up with examples of bizarre or silly types of gifts they might receive, and then brainstorm the possible positive things that they could say to the giver to show their appreciation for it.
Explain the true meaning of “thank you” - Help your child understand the real meaning behind these two simple words. When they thank someone, it is not for the actual gift, whatever it might be, but instead it is said to represent their appreciation for the time and effort that was spent thinking of them and choosing a gift. Whether they like a gift or not, they can always focus on the love behind it. Someone loves them so much that they thought about what to get, then went to the store to buy it, wrap it up and deliver it. Saying “thank you” tells the giver that it makes them feel special that someone did all of that for them.
